painting the sea for winter

I have been painting this week, the colors i have chosen are those of the sea, the water the sky, sealions the sunsets.I know God has more for me then what I am now,but I am a lady in waiting, and so when I can control the tears about the sea, I look at the possitive and paint a better life for me. women amounst everyone,feel the slightest twinge of deppression more,maybe it is because we are raised to dream big,with castles and glass slippers, and all. I have always dreamed big, and often my reality fell quite far from my dream. But God blesses us continualy in even the strangest of cercomstance. I once had my christmas tree grow until april,3 inches on each branch as I watered it feably in a yam can tied to an old stump. this year i was blessed with a bright yellow leafed weaping birch wile everyone else in my town had nothing but brown crinkled up frozen leafs.....why do I get these gifts of exstended life,warmth...maybe cause i ave faith that God gives us simple gifts,or maybe because he knows i will take notice and be thankfull.marshall asked me if we had to rake leafs today. and i said i didnt belive in it, God gave me a bright yellow yard when all my neighbors were brown, he provided cover for the animals and a warm blanket for the ground, he knew i would leave enough fruit for the animals and think of him in each gift i prepair for christmas.he even knew when he allowed our house to flood that I would be painting the sea, waiting for my next view of the ocean.

I have been listening to this song called get me through december by natalie macmaster there is something beautiful in waiting.

"how pail is the sky that brings forth the rain ,as the changing of seasons prepairs me again ,for the long bitter nights and the wild winters day,my heart has grown cold , my love stowed away, my heart has grown cold ,my love stowed away.Ive been to the mountain ,left my tracks in the snow,where soals have been lost and the weak and wounded go, ive taken the pain no girl should endure but faith can move mountains ,of that i am sure, faith can move mountains of that i am sure,just get me through december,a promice ill remember, get me through december,so i can start again.
no devine purpose brings fredom from sin,and peices of gilt that must come from within,ive looked for the love that will bring me to rest, feeding this hunger beating strong in my chest, feeding this hunger beating stong in my chest, just get me through december,a promice ill remember,get me through december,so i can start again.
ive been to the mountain ,left my tracks in the snow,where soals have been lost and the weak and wounded go, ive taken the pain no girl should endure,but faith can move mountains of that i am sure,faith can move mountains that i am sure,just get me through december, a promice ill remember,get me through december,so i can start again."

beautiful irish music....funny how these little blessings move me, a tree a song, a color of paint. maybe the little things work cause i know how much my Lord loves me. he sees my heart like no-one else can,not marsh,my kids, my mom,my friends. he sees what i long for, and why.he sees all the pain, all I attempt but fail at. he knows my purpose, and I know all i want is to fullfil that place in the world he made me for, so as I wait, as i listen, as I paint, as I dream of the sea...I am here to share my faith, to inspire anyone i can....I want others to see how christ helps us to paint the sea,or whatever moves you to move for His kingdom.look at the tiny thing someone else wouldnt notice, and lift up praise, for maybe women and men even were meant to dream big, for we are all royalty in the house of the Lord.

why we keep secrets

There is a question i have been wondering about lately? why do people keep secrets? it seems part of us wants to keep somethings to ourselfs, shame(what if they find out....) fear(what will they do to me if they know....) hope (I hope they will love me even if they find out....)

so why are there so many people carring around these horrible packages,bits of themselfs tied up in brown paper packages in stings. A secret traps the person in themselfs. I have had secrets, that hurt me and everyone i interacted with for years....but maybe secrets are a form of a lie, a dishonesty to ourselfs not allowing us to heal. I know people trying to heal, I know people just recently hurt, I know people hurting from so long ago still. but when will christs love open them up, push aside all fear and free them through open sharing. I have loved people that didnt love me, I have had people phisicaly ,emotionaly,and in everyway hurt me, I have been drugged and had years of flashbacks ,and times i couldnot remember, I have been forced and blackmailed to do things, I have lost children ,one the father never even knew about, I have hoped for things that I could never have, I have stolen,cheated ,lied,swore, cured, damed,manipulated, hid in myself,tryed to be crazy, tryed to die, wanted to kill, coveted so much....so many more sins,of mine, of my parents, of friends and enemys,of lovers and strangers...everyones secrets have affected me...they affect my kids, my boyfriend, my relationship with my lord jesus.

but why may i ask cant we all just be real with eachother...be the real church supporting eachother......

I urge you to open up, tell your secrets,let yourselfs heal, let others heal...let your faith in Gods healing grace heal you.....

I can garentee you are not alone,someone else needs to know how you got through what you survived,share............someone else survived what you think you cant,ask for help.....someone else is needing your honesty to change thier life.

we can all exspell demonds.....clean up our soals......be brave...stand in the armor of the lord and nothing else...be exsposed..........be free.....christ gave his life so that you may not have to hide

be open.....let his light shine inside....stop hiding.....let go

winter friendships

living from inside,many of us are not looking forward to all the snow, we already have cold feet when it comes to winter. but luckily there is facebook. i use to think facebook was a waste of time, and i would still say that about alot of the available games and aplications.but after spending a year alone in many aspects it is pleasent to read some of the encoraging things people say to one another. and i find myself not pulled in by those i thought i missed quite as much as a handfull of people i have found offering hope to everyone they encounter...high teck love....and nothing to do with dating online. i am talking about christ's love, shared everyday by these few i speak of. it had intreaged me and inspired me to encorage others instead of gossip. It just proves we can choose our own path and always make it the right and honest one even when the internet gives us so much room to lie and be crule.dont get me wrong i still have to tease my cousins a bit,as family gos for a good laugh from all, and sometimes words fall short from grace when someone else has said something out of sorts to me...but i will keep trying to share the best of the human spirit...the holy part...and i encorage you all to use this gift of fast communication for a possitive winter and holiday season to all....and as we grow closser to the holidays, keep Christ in christmas cause he is the reason for the season.bless you all