There are times in a woman's life when it may seem she is 2 very different people. The woman who was branched of her childhood dreams and the person she has settled into being. That time for me is now. The 2 photos above represent my self in very real(not so crazy) split realitys. the first is the river Li in china, it is calming,the warm glow of paper lanterns, the stillness of the water,the reflection of all the color that has woven its way though my life. And in it lay the real me, the passionate woman dressed in flowing silks,The one with an exotic flower in my hair, the one you dont see in the photo, letting my feet dangle in the cool water,absolutely in love with life and everything it has to offer.
And then there is the sideways look at a cliff and castle in irland,rainy fog moving in to gray the view.longing to run at the cliff and not stop,how far could i run over the edge.(again not in a crazy way)there i am,fallen down in my abrupt running, looking at my home from a crooked angle.It is gray, and cold and stone, secure, safe,closed in ,longing.I am there off to the side, wearing sweatpants,too poor for a drink at the local pub.taken for granted, always forlorn.
So what does this comparison teach us, to let go of the dream ,or not to settle for less.I do not know if there is a way to merge the two.afterall i have let go of childhood dreams, havent I,or maybe they werent dreams, but something to hope for. but I have so much to loose if I go running at the clif,however ,so i hang on. but what i really want is a way to be myself,even under the ruff circomestances. so off to reinventing myself,the magical girls imagination and the well lived ones' way of taking the bad and turning it into a treasure.let me think awile on that
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