greatful enough

I will admit i have been struggling lately with greatfulness. God has taken us out of the bad situation and provided for us as I had great faith he would. But i find my exspectations of him providing were too high, I exspected a wonderful house, where i could hear the ocean ,not the hyway. I exspected a job where i would actually be cooking, I exspected more of everything. What i am forgetting ,is that i forgot to ask for specifics, i thought i would be greatful for anything, and i was wrong about me.....Oh what a hinderance, could this be pride.
There is a story of 10 leppers, jesus heals them all, but only one returns to thank him. I am disapointed in myself, I thought i was like that one, I thought i didnt stuggle with this.
It is so funny How quickly God can turn us in twards his ways. I have to sit now and think, yes i had a home with lots of things,but i had no church home. yes a had a comfortable bed ,but I had no rest . I had abundant fruit trees, but was not producing spiritual fruit. I had a life of sin and loss and lonelyness cause i had been turning a deaf ear to God.And now he has oppened a world of doors to my family and I find myself complaining . This is where i am stuck...if i had asked my God for specifics, would he have taken that as me being selfish, or provided what i asked, maybe my faith isnt as strong as I thought. or maybe i need to learn true greatfulness. and know that what God has for me may not be done yet, and that everything that he has provided will eventualy lead to the better life i wanted,but more then that to the will he has for me. now many of you know i wanted to go be a missionary a few years back,But I am seeing now that through everything else that happened instead, I have learned what i wasnt prepared for yet. I couldnt deal with persecution in my own home, so how would I have delt out there,I fell short and now i am being shown where and how to fix it. sometimes we think we are ready to give everything up for God, but are we really ready to do what he wants , instead of what we want.
so starting now I am going to do two things, work on praying for speciffics, and work on being greatful for all I am given cause its Gods will. And let us all remember that God wants to give us good things,and to satisfy the desires of our heart,but as our father he must disern those things we want that are truely not good for us. it only starts with faith, then there has to be trust, and of corse gratitude.