empty easter

this easter was empty,my son was sick, the town hunt was borring, neither of my kids even wanted to finnish egg huntting here at home,but most of all there was no jesus.How can people have easter with no jesus. I normally fill up on jesus, we read the story and use the reserection eggs, wego to church and i give the kids bibles and christian books, but i couldnt afford them this year,and we dont have a church, and not all who live here belive.I am held captive by that. the empty egg is suppose to represent jesus risen,but instead easter was empty of him. I am lonely here, havent been happy since we moved....dont get me wrong the kids are awsome, me and marsh are doing well, he's even warmed up about God a bit.....but the emptyness is over our life,the cross is but a shadow in my past,it doesnt cling to me ,when I try to hold it it isnt within my grasp.this last week my friend julie visited,I could speak about christ with her, she has risen up with the Lord and overcome so much since I met her. she wasnt close like that when I met her, I tryed to inspire her, and now I see her growth,she is fruit.....but so little I have bore lately. I feel forsaken here,like the whole town shoves emptiness in me,the calm is in my house alone.Where are you Lord when I call out to you,bring me out of this empty loneliness, fill my family again, have us live on the bread of your word.......fill this shell of a creature I have become ...again...